6 ways to deal with sexual frustration

Posted 2025-09-02 06:18:03

What is sexual frustration?
S*xual frustration refers to the feeling of unmet s*xual needs. Although it's not linked to a specific medical diagnosis, many people use it to describe a feeling of emptiness or dissatisfaction during or when thinking about s*x.

Compared to normal, healthy s*xual behaviors, s*xual frustration can manifest itself in a variety of maladaptive ways. These include:

Depression

Anxiety

Anger

Agitation

Recklessness

Regardless of your s*xual orientation, gender, ethnicity, or marital status, s*xual frustration can arise in the same way. It's a natural and normal response in adults.

Causes of Sexual Frustration
S*xual frustration stems from a variety of factors.

An argument with a partner, for example, can spill over into intimacy and cause s*xual frustration. Low libido can sometimes disrupt the established dynamic of intimacy, causing a misalignment of s*xual desires that may need to be overcome.

Other causes of s*xual frustration may include:

Internalized stigma

Lack of physical intimacy

Stress and burnout

Trauma from a previous s*xual partner

Relationship problems

In most cases, s*xual frustration is not the primary issue to address. People who feel s*xually frustrated may be dealing with negative events, internal or external, in their lives that seriously affect their s*xual outlook and desire.

If you experience s*xual frustration, know that it is possible to regain s*xual satisfaction. Consult a doctor to develop a treatment plan.

How to manage sexual frustration
If you experience s*xual frustration, you're probably aware of how stressful it is. But with a little effort, it can be overcome.

Here are some effective ways to cope with s*xual frustration.

1. Do cardio
Going for a run can help clear your mind and release some of your frustration in a healthy way. The body releases endorphins when running, which can help improve mood and release pent-up energy (or "blue balls," as they say) caused by unmet s*xual needs.

2. Connect Physically Without Sex
You don't have to take the initiative to address s*xual frustration. Other ways to practice physical touch include:

Hugging your partner

Caringly stroking their face

Holding hands

Physical touch is scientifically proven to increase social support, making both partners feel comfortable and connected.

3. Identify the Root Cause of Sexual Tension
Identifying the cause of the tension between you and your partner is crucial to help you address the problem.

Is it due to internal health issues like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or loss of libido? Is it due to an internal sense of shame or s*xual guilt? Or is it something that stems from external factors, like work stress?

Figure out what's really causing your lack of s*x drive. This way, you can proceed appropriately with a s*x therapist.

4. Talk to a qualified therapist
Therapists are trained to address relationship issues, including s*xual ones.

If you feel like you can't overcome your s*xual frustration alone or that it's drastically affecting your life, a psychologist or s*x therapist can help you understand how to proceed.

5. Try solo sex
If you want to release s*xual energy, consider solo s*x. You can do this by masturbating or using s*x toys.

S*xual frustration is usually temporary, so a quick release can help curb immediate s*xual desire. It can also lead to a better s*xual connection in the future.

6. Communicate with your partner
One of the most important things you can do to strengthen your relationship is to have healthy and open communication with your partner.

If you feel like you're not receiving the love and attention you need from your partner, talk about it. Express your feelings and ask for what you need. It doesn't have to be s*xual; even a simple shoulder to cry on will do.

This can help resolve the issue and make both of you feel emotionally connected.

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