What does "love gone" mean? Where to? How could this happen? Why are lovers disappointed? How to prevent this from happening? Let's figure it out.
The situation with disappointment in love begins to clear up when you consider the fact that some people are much more prone to disappointment than others. Even certain types of men and women talk about disappointment in principle, in all members of the opposite sex: in the style of "all the worthy have died out."
Even at the stage of falling in love, there are two extremes: some are too romantic and cannot stop in any way, while others cannot "really fall in love" with at least one.
So what distinguishes people who tend to be disappointed?
Based on their life and professional experience, psychologists have concluded that evaluative thinking is the basis of the tendency to disappointment and, in general, the inability to fall in love. That is such thinking in which one person begins to judge another. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad to consider. It doesn't matter if it's only in thoughts or words. Another thing is important. As soon as we start to evaluate, we inevitably fall into the coordinate system: good-bad, worse-better. And this category has nothing to do with the feeling of love.
Any appreciation is the opposite of love.
That is why the one prone to evaluative thinking cannot truly love in any way. An endless series of loves, disappointments, and partings haunt him. Sooner or later, he is disappointed because a loved one is naturally not ideal. He will show weaknesses, stupidity, and mistakes.
Moreover, suppose a person is more accustomed to critical thinking (a type of evaluative thinking with a minus sign) than in a relationship. In that case, the attention of such a person is focused on finding grounds for criticizing the "beloved." And, as they say, whoever seeks will always find.
In addition, a person who is prone to critical thinking is often critical of himself. So potentially - unsure of himself, jealous, touchy.
As a result, the one who constantly sees the shortcomings of the "beloved" eventually comes to that very feeling: "love has passed." And the one who becomes the object of evaluative criticism is not in the best position because they begin to be afraid of "doing it wrong," "saying it wrong," "looking wrong," "putting it in the wrong place," and always being in fear the necessary freedom of indulgence, as with Dirty Feet JOI, losing not only love but also respect. As a result, they are usually afraid to leave, either continue to endure and start drinking .., or find friends/girlfriends, lovers, in general, those who "do not evaluate", https://footjungle.com/.
To help you eliminate the tendency to evaluate, you first learn to accept the other and yourself as you are and respect the other person's right not to meet your expectations.